Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I'm having it my way

Quotation from my Burger King cup, size: Large.

This cup makes a statement about you. It says "Hey, look at me, I'm an ambitious yet responsible person." You could have gone larger, but you didn't. You could have gone smaller, but again, you deffered. No, you know exactly what you want in life, nothing more, nothing less. It's good when you have things your way.


Thanks Burger King. Thanks for making me feel good about who I am.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

boring

The other day a thought crossed my mind that has never crossed it before. The thought was "I think I might be boring." You heard me right not 'bored', boring. I never used to think I was boring but as I sat on my couch for the fourth straight day I was pretty sure I might be border line boring. OK, so I did have a stomach virus and therefore could not be any further away from the bathroom than about 10 feet, but even so, all I did for five days was lay on the couch and watch the Olympics and drink gatorade.

But as I laid there I thought there are so many things that I talk about doing or that I want to do and yet I have done none of them. A few years ago my friend Suzanne and I made a list of 40 things we wanted to do before we died. I'm doing nothing to get to those goals. It makes me sad. My only hope of motivation is that I don't want people to comment after they encounter me "Wow she is so boring."

I blame movies. It seems that more and more movies can be summed up in the following:

Boy is sad, poor, sucessful yet unfulfilled, lost, loney etc.

Boy by some funny happenstance meets a crazy, intelligent, misunderstood, beautiful, skinny girl.

Somehow boy feels like this girl is exactly what he needs to,get his job back, find his true self, be happy, feel good, overcome lifethreathening illness.

I feel like I need to be that girl. I feel hopeless to become her, maybe I'm the lost, loney, poor, sucessful yet unfulfilled girl who needs the crazy, handsome, yet with a secret boy to enter my life.

Help.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Flood

It's raining here. As I walked into our office kitchen, which I have now deemed as the most exciting part of our office, to put my lunch in our fridge and heat up some water for my maple and brown sugar oatmeal I noticed that the refridgerator light was out. I then noticed that it wasn't cold in our refridgerator. So I checked our second fridge, and it wasn't cold either, and neither one of our microwaves were working. Yes, we have two fridges and two microwaves. I then opened our smaller fridge and pulled out the tray below the freezer part and water spilled out like Niagara Falls. I screamed and my office mate ran in to see what all the commotion was about. I explained while removing a large piece of ice that had fallen out of the freezer and carried it to the sink. We looked for a fuse box but could not find one. Later we found out that the fuse box is in the Men's room, oddly enough. I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up the water on the floor in the kitchen.

I then put all the ice pieces that had started to melt and put them into the sink and ran hot water on them and watched them melt for a few minutes. This was defiantly the best part of the process.

Then the landlord came and told us it was fixed, and I made myself some maple and brown sugar oatmeal.

All has returned to normal.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

sponsoring orgies is never a good idea

I enjoy this article's use of phrases like:

"Financial Decadence" and

"bacchanalian aspects"

And the plea of a long island mother and her heartfelt words of wisdom "They puteverybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do." Here, Here!

I leave you with this quote from Pretty in Pink "What about Prom? What about Prom?"

Monday, October 17, 2005

What ever happened to scarlet fever?

When I pulled up to my house the other day, there was a flock of birds in the tree in our lawn. Screeching and Skawaking and making a general racket. Of course my first thought was: Aviary Flu. It had migrated to my house. And as I sat there rivited to my seat afraid to get out for the fear of some deranged, coughing, sneezing, stuffy headed bird dive bombing me and coughing in my face to infect me with the dreaded bird flu, I thought this has got to be the most ridiculous disease I have ever heard of.

The bird flu. I ask you? Can you imagne the humiliation of dying from the bird flu? Give me malaria, bring back scarlet fever, tuberculosis, even cholera. Now those are things to die from. But the marvels of modern science have foiled my melancholy plans again and so never will I die a beautifully romantic death of scarlet fever. My tombstone reading " It was the fever that took her from us, the fever that matched her scarlet lips, her vivid blue eyes; glassy and unseeing, her mumbled whispers, her body forever chilled, will awake no more"

No my tombstone could read like this "It was the bird flu that got her in the end, she has flown away to bluer skies, a land of freshly washed cars and forgotten sunflower seeds. May the flights of her aviary friends guide her to her rest. "

Curses on you penicillian!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Top ten great things about being from New Jersey

10. I just really enjoy saying "I'm from Jersey." I mean New Mexico and New Hampshire can't just say "I'm from Hampshire or Mexico" They need the 'New' where as 'Jersey' will always stand alone.

9. Able to navigate with out fear any traffic circle

8. New York 2 hours away, Philly 15 minutes away, DC 2 1/2 hours away, Shore 1 hour, mountains 2 hours

7. I never had to pump my own gas until I went away to college

6. Self satisfying smugness you get as you humor people when they laugh and say " So you're from New Jersey? What exit? ha ha ha." because inside you know - people from New Jersey never take the turnpike, the only reason we know what exit we live off of is because smart alec people like to make their funny little joke.

5. Cranberry Bogs and Tomatoes

4. Late night drives on the Parkway home from the 'shore' - not the 'beach'

3. It makes driving in DC look like a short jaunt in the country

2. Wonderful sense of calm I receive as I transverse the Delaware Memorial Bridge home.

1. Never having to say when traveling "Does this water (pronounced wa-der) taste funny to you?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Mobile mausoleum

There is a bug graveyard of sorts in the back of my car. I first started to notice it a year or so ago. I was unloading my trunk when I saw a small bee flying around inside of my back window. I watched it as it kind of went into a panic, trying to find it's way out, darting this way and that. Finally it seemed to give up, it landed on the back shelf area of my car, right at the very point in which my window meets the shelf. It landed there flitted about some and then it gave up the ghost. It was so weird. Like this bee just decided," I can't get out, it's over", and then just decided to die. It was sad.
Next came a moth, which morbidly went from a brownish green to a vivid white as it laid near the dead bee. Yes, I had left them there. It's hard to climb back there and honestly I just didn't know what to do with them, it seemed as though they chose that place to die, they wanted to be there. Who was I to contradict the last wishes of a small being.
They since have decomposed on their own, turned to dust in the hot baking sun. Now they are replaced by another bee and a small beetle of some sort.
Then as I was driving home a few nights ago I noticed a spider, wandering around on my windshield, inside. It definitely had jointed legs and I could see it's distinct head and thorax(?) It roamed around, I tried to ignore it and just drive, but of course it would just sit for long periods of time right in my line of sight. I never see him during the day, he must be nocturnal. Should I kill him? But why, spiders are supposed to eat other bugs, perhaps that is why these other insects just gave up, maybe they could sense the spider, and thought "this is his domain, it is useless to resist".
My car is now a mobile mausoleum of insects, ruled over by an evil spider, whom I have named, Toby ( in honor of spiderman - Toby Maguire)